Constipated? How Toilet Training can Actually Help Your Child

Constipation is a common struggle for kids especially during the toilet training period and can contribute to many stressful experiences for both the parents and child.  If your child is dealing with constipation, transitioning to the toilet can be particularly difficult.  Did you know that there are proven, gentle strategies that can help reduce stress, address avoidance behaviors, and make the process smoother for everyone involved?

Drawing from my experience helping families through this process, I’ve developed a set of practical toilet training guidelines that are particularly helpful when constipation is a concern. These toilet training tips not only ease the physical discomfort of constipation but also make the entire experience more predictable and manageable for both you and your child.

Disclaimer: While these strategies have been successful for many families, this blog is not intended to be medical advice. If your child is experiencing chronic constipation or other medical concerns, it is essential to consult your pediatrician, dietitian or medical professional. Persistent constipation may require a more tailored treatment plan, medical interventions, and/or addressing any underlying health issues.

When to start toilet training ?

Toilet training (or re-training) are suitable for toddlers and preschoolers, typically aged 18 months to 4 years, as well as older children who are facing specific challenges like constipation.  Rather than focusing on a specific age, it’s helpful to watch for signs of toilet training readiness, such as:

  • Staying dry for longer periods (e.g., during naps or 1-2 hours during the day).
  • Being aware of bodily functions, such as hiding to poop or verbalizing when wet or dirty.
  • Showing interest in the bathroom routine, such as watching family members and wanting to imitate them.
  • Able to follow simple instructions, like sitting on the potty when prompted.
  • Willingness to sit on a potty or toilet, even if they don’t use it at first.

These strategies can also be adapted for children with autism, developmental delays or additional support needs. By focusing on readiness instead of strict timelines, families can build a positive, child-centered approach to toilet training.

These toilet training essentials will allow you to build confidence and trust in your child’s body and establish a bathroom routine. Remember that each child is different, and these tips can be adjusted to fit your family’s unique needs and your child’s pace.

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Jenefer Neale

Hi there! I’m Jenefer Neale, a Board Certified Behaviour Analyst passionate about supporting families through the challenges of childhood development. I specialize in addressing toilet training struggles, managing behavioral hurdles, and creating routines tailored to each child’s needs. Through my work, I aim to empower families with practical tools and compassionate guidance to help children thrive. You can find more of my insights and resources at Sage Sprouts Parent Pod.

Sage Sprouts Parent Pod

1. Consistent Routine for Toilet Training

When starting toilet training, focusing on one consistent time of day for bathroom routines can help reduce feeling overwhelmed. Pick a time, such as after breakfast or dinner, and make that time consistent.

Practical tips to create a consistent routine

  • Select a predictable time of day, such as after meals, and sit on the toilet or change diapers in the bathroom.
  • Use visual schedules to reinforce consistency and keep your child engaged.
  • Gradually expand this routine to include other times of the day once your child is comfortable.

Why a consistent routine works

  • Builds Predictability: A structured routine helps your child’s body learn the connection between sitting on the toilet and relaxing to poop.
  • Reinforces Positive Associations: Visual cues and positive reinforcement make the bathroom a welcoming, low-pressure space.
  • Reduces Stress Gradually: Expanding the routine over time helps both parents and children adapt at a manageable pace, avoiding overwhelm while building confidence.

2. Starting Slow: Focus on Diaper Changes in the Bathroom

Move all diaper changes to the bathroom if your child is still pooping in the diaper and/or pull ups. This simple change creates an essential connection between the bathroom and bodily functions without the pressure of using the toilet right away.

 

Practical tips to create routine in the bathroom

  • Move all diaper changes, including wipes, to the bathroom, even if they usually happen in other parts of the house.
  • Use this time to introduce positive reinforcement, such as gentle praise or favorite toys, to create positive associations with the bathroom.
  • Reinforce that the bathroom is a safe place by not rushing the process.

Why creating a routine in the bathroom works

  • Building a Location Connection: Shifting diaper changes to the bathroom reinforces the concept that this is the appropriate place for bodily needs.
  • Fostering Predictability: This step introduces your child to a consistent bathroom routine in a low-pressure way.
  • Reducing Resistance Later: Once your child is accustomed to the bathroom for diaper changes, transitioning to toilet training becomes easier and more natural.
  • Minimizing Parent Overwhelm: This method helps parents start slowly and build confidence without immediately jumping into full toilet training.

3. Establishing After-Meal Toilet Sits

Toilet training can be made easier by leveraging your child’s natural digestive reflexes. The gastrocolic reflex is triggered when food enters the stomach, encourages bowel activity and can be used to establish regular toilet routines after meals.

Practical Tips for after-meal toilet sits

  • Encourage your child to sit on the toilet for about 5 minutes after meals. Keep the atmosphere relaxed and comfortable.
  • Praise your child for sitting calmly, even if they don’t have a bowel movement.
  • If there’s no bowel movement after the first sit, allow a short break (20 minutes) before trying again.
  • Avoid screens or other distractions—focus on books or quiet activities instead.

Why sitting on the toilet after meals works

  • Leveraging Natural Digestive Reflexes: Post-meal toilet time aligns with the body’s natural urges, making it a productive time for bowel movements.
  • Creating Positive Habits: Consistently practicing after-meal toilet sits helps reduce anxiety around bathroom routines and fosters a predictable, non-stressful environment.
  • Breaking Withholding Patterns: Encouraging regular, low-pressure sits encourages your child to relax and engage with the toilet routine, decreasing the likelihood of withholding behaviors.
Check out this nutrition guide for constipation!

4. Incorporating Pants-Free Time

If your child is avoiding the toilet, pants-free time can help break the cycle of resistance by removing the comfort and security associated with diapers or underwear. This approach allows your child to explore toilet training at their own pace.

Practical tips for pants-free time

  • Designate specific times (such as after meals) for pants-free time. Keep the area clean and comfortable.
  • Use positive reinforcement like praise or small rewards to encourage attempts at using the potty.
  • Keep pants-free time short and relaxed, focusing on comfort and emotional security.

Why pants-free time works

  • Breaking the Security of Diapers or Underwear: This method removes the comfort of diapers, encouraging your child to reconsider their attachment to these items and nudge them towards using the toilet.
  • Increasing Bodily Awareness: Pants-free time encourages children to pay closer attention to their bodily signals, promoting awareness of when they need to go.
  • Reducing Resistance Through Freedom and Choice: This method reduces stress and resistance by allowing your child to explore the idea of toilet training at their own pace.
  • Promoting Natural Transitions: Pants-free time helps children connect bodily cues with the appropriate place for bathroom activities.

5. Bring Back the Small Potty

For children who feel overwhelmed by using a large toilet, a small potty can provide the comfort and accessibility needed to ease them into the process.

Practical tips for brining back the small potty

  • Keep the small potty in a central location, such as the playroom or bathroom.
  • Offer positive reinforcement for every attempt to use the potty, regardless of success.
  • Gradually transition the potty closer to the bathroom as your child gets comfortable.

 

Why the small potty works

  • Reduces Barriers: A small potty is more accessible, reducing the effort it takes for children to act on their bodily cues.
  • Encourages Comfort: The potty’s smaller size may help children feel more secure and less fearful of using it.
  • Targets Withholding: The low-effort nature of using a small potty helps create a sense of success, easing children away from withholding behaviors.

6. Use a Gentle, Step-By-Step Approach

If your child is hesitant to poop on the toilet but uses it for urination, a gradual, step-by-step approach can help ease them into the process without overwhelming them.

Practical tips for a step-by-step approach

  • Allow your child to request a diaper for pooping, gradually moving them toward using it in the bathroom.
  • Once they are comfortable with the diaper in the bathroom, encourage them to sit on the toilet while wearing it.
  • Slowly phase out the diaper by cutting a hole in it or having them sit directly on the toilet.

 

Why a step-by-step approach works

  • Preserves Security While Introducing Change: By allowing your child to continue using a diaper specifically for pooping, you maintain their sense of security while introducing a gradual transition to toilet use.
  • Reduces Anxiety Around the Toilet: This approach minimizes the anxiety and fear that can be associated with pooping on the toilet.
  • Promotes Positive Associations with the Bathroom: Over time, this method encourages your child to feel comfortable using the bathroom for urination and bowel movements.
  • Targets Specific Avoidance Behaviors: This approach focuses on addressing specific anxieties, like fear of pooping on the toilet, which is often a significant issue for children who withhold.

Conclusion: Personalized Strategies That Fit Your Family

These toilet training tips emphasize flexibility and meeting your child where they are in the process. Whether you’re just starting or addressing specific challenges like withholding or constipation, a routine tailored to your family’s needs can make all the difference. Progress might take time, but with patience and consistency, success is achievable.

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